Here’s a tip to get you prepared to use Instant Influence, the only scientifically-proven method to motivate anyone in 7 minutes or less, with the people in your life who are not doing what you would like them to do, whether you find them at work or at home.
The first step in any process of influencing or motivating someone is to pick a target behavior – the thing that you would like the person to do that they are not doing. And the first step toward picking a target behavior is to make sure you “Do NOT break the Dead Man’s Rule,” which is an old saying in the motivation business. In essence, it means,…
Don’t try to motivate anyone to do anything that a dead man could do just as well.
For example, we try never to break through resistance to get people to not drink or stay away from fattening foods or stop getting in your own way. A dead man doesn’t drink, he never eats fattening foods, and he’s long past getting in his own way.
Instead, we might try to move someone to refuse the next drink or stick to healthy meals and snacks or call up that company and ask for a job interview. Now the person has an active role to play—something you need to be alive to do.
When you ask people why they might want to do something or how motivated they are, you’re asking them about behaviors, not outcomes. Most of the time, we can’t control outcomes, but we can control behavior. We can’t commit to losing weight, but we can commit to sticking to a meal plan. We can’t commit to getting a job, but we can commit to making 10 job-interview calls by the end of the week.
It’s also useful to focus on the next step rather than on the final step: I’ll stop texting and IMing during the next family movie night rather than No cell phone or computer ever during special family times. Some of the people I’ve trained have objected to this “baby step” process, feeling that I’m asking them to be too easy on the people they’re trying to influence. But we only get somewhere by taking one step after another, and having taken the first step, however small, we almost always find ourselves motivated to take another. Trust the process, don’t rush the process, and let the process work for you—one step at a time.
More Instant Influence TIPs coming soon!
EXERT YOUR INFLUENCE!